Didn't realise that so much time had passed since the last update, so much has happened since then and not all good so it's not easy to know where to start.

Summarising might be better and using the old hindsight as an aid.

Once gom finished his antibiotics, more problems came to light and we discovered that he'd got one of the 'hospital acquired' super bugs, C-Dif. Which explained the hospital's changed of heart about sending him to the rehab ward, as they must have known about it before he came home but we'd have a hard job proving negligence, and I don't really have the energy for it at the moment. Also the doctor's expresssion when I started to talk about treating infections at home also explains a lot, although I wasn't in a position to understand at the time, but he must have known or suspected that he may have been sending gom home with an infection of some type. The reports in the paper stated that the wards were closed from 4th May, but we know they were closing the unit to new admissions on 2 May, the Day that they changed their mind about sending him to the rehab unit.

We saw the neurologist eventually and it was agreed to get the op for the suprapubic catheter as soon as possible. Contacted the Urologist and he booked the admission for 2nd August.

The Home Care team continued to come in three times a day until the end of May, when they decided to hand over to an agency. This was where more troubles began.

We gave the Care manager at the hospital the name of a preferred agency that had been recommended to us, but he didn't come back to us and say they didn't have anyone available, instead he contacted another agency with our our knowledge and THEIR manager contacted us.

All seemed well initially, their rates seem reasonable and they were pro rata for 30, 45 and 60 minutes. They introduced a male care worker to come in the mornings (between 8.30-9am) for washing and showering and a female for the evenings (between 9-9.30pm) to get help get gom into bed. She had her own transport and other clients before and after us, but the male only had us and he was dependent on public transport.

We were only expecting to have the male for 30-45 mins a day, but from the beginning he kept insisting that he stayed for the full hour. I had an argument with him that we hadn't agreed to the longer time but he was insistant, so I contacted the manager and she agreed that he should only book the time that we needed him and I should sign the time sheets accordingly, however the second week he continued to book the full hour instead of a maximum of 45 mins so we decided to cut down the number of days to just 5. As he continually hung around trying to find additional tasks to justify the time, I made sure that there weren't any, - I was able to get gom up, and in the bathroom and I made the bed all before the guy arrived (usually after 9am) but he still sat around for up to 15 mins after he'd finished just writing up the notes.

By doing as much as I could before he arrived I was able to cut the maximum time down to 35-40 mins but the guy still insisted on claiming for the full hour on the days that gom had a shower, although thankfully, on the other days (when he was only here for max of 20 mins) he only claimed for the minimum 30 mins. The girl in the evening was great, but then her car broke down and she became dependent on Public transport, which given the lateness of the hour was not acceptable.

I gave the manager 2 weeks notice that we would start phasing out the care on 2nd July, with the guy only coming in three days a week for showers. But then the attendance of the evening care worker got worse so we gave notice to cancel it all together. Then the morning guy didn't turn up either so we gave notice to cancel that as well.

I contacted the social care team because if I was going to do it all myself I would need more equipment and was given the name of a more locally based agency. I contecde the manager and arranged for them to do their risk assessment the next day, but then the other guy turned up again so when he'd finished we told him he wouldn't be needed again which once again he argued about.

The new agency were engaged and the new care worker was booked to start between 8.15-8.30, which was good for the first day as we had a hospital appointment and needed to be ready early.

I got gom up just before 8am and he was in the bathroom when the new lady arrived at 8.20-8.25 (she'd got a bit lost). We tried for a shower, but gom couldn't stand, so he had a strip wash instead. We were nearly finished at around 8.40 when the guy from the other agency turned up AGAIN. I didn't answer the door to him as we were busy with gom but he kept hanging around. Eventually I answered the door and told him he wasn't needed, but he insisted on coming in to sign the books which I thought he'd taken with him the previous day. He was adament he hadn't but it wasn't here so he must have done so and I suspect he had really because he knew that I'd altered the times on some of the sheets. He eventually went and we haven't seen him since. The old agency then contacted us to ask for two weeks notice in writing but gom wrote to them pointing out that their contract only required 24 hrs notice and we had already given them that.

The woman from the new agency regularly turns up at 8.15 and gom is washed and dressed by 8.40, even when like this morning I had trouble getting him out of bed and she had to wait for him to do his teeth etc before she went in to help him with his back and other private parts. In this waiting time she helped me make the bed, we chatted and she then helped me fold some washing. She has five clients in our area and doesn't need to go to her next one until 9 so we have enough spare time to cover for any problems without worrying that we are holding her up.

Their rates are slightly higher than the other agency but we are getting better value for money, so we don't mind. It also means that I don't have to rush around and get myself showered and dressed before gom gets up.